Happily Ever After

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It seems like everyone from your parents to Disney movies wants you to believe in this concept of fairytale endings. From children we are taught that we deserve happiness and it is waiting out there for us just around the corner. That the natural conclusion to every life is a happy home full of someone who loves you. Even today our well-meaning friends fill us with advice about we we deserve and what we will find. They are full of platitudes and don’t-give-up-yets. But is it really possible for everyone to have such a happy ending?

I mean, let’s think about this for a minute. How could we know how good we have it if we weren’t aware of how else things could turn out? How could I know how lucky I am for job security right now if so many people weren’t that lucky? If everyone were secure, it wouldn’t be luck at all, right? It would just be… a normal state of affairs. Average. The norm.

So how do people know they are having their happy ending unless they can see how not everyone does? And if that’s the case, then how can we all be destined for this happily ever after?

The truth is that I gave up on my own happily ever after about a year ago. After two divorces and countless dating flops, I simply stopped believing that there were rainbows and pots of gold at the end of a specific journey for me. I turned off some of my online dating accounts and simply stopped looking at others. And while it seems like such a sad thing to so many of you, it wasn’t. It was just that I stopped believing I would ride off into the sunset on a white steed with my prince charming. I stopped assuming that that was the ending created for me. And I started to believe that I might ride off into the sunset by myself at the end of my life movie.

And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a thing. That’s not a relegation to an unfulfilled life. It’s not the swan song of a sad and pathetic old maid. It’s not the determination to live in eternal unhappiness. Rather it’s a shift in my personal thinking. It’s a belief that my pot of gold may be just for me. It’s an attitude of making my life something I love on my own instead of waiting for someone else to complete it. It’s me spitting on Mr. Jerry Maguire because I don’t believe I need him to complete me anymore. Maybe I’m meant to complete myself. And maybe that’s okay too.

Conventional wisdom is still otherwise. Everytime I catch up with old friends invariably they want to know if I’m seeing someone. If I say yes, they see me as happier. If I say no, they assure me I will still meet the one. It’s not too late, poor little single Jane.

Right now, for all of those misguided souls, I’m staging a revolt. Whether or not I’m seeing someone does not define my ability to be happy. Getting married or having children does not equal the successful completion of life goals. There is not only one ending to this fairytale. I can be complete and yes Virginia, even happy, with or without a man.

I am redefining happily ever after. Starting now.
Début de l'événement 12.05.2022
Fin de l'événement 12.05.2022